Bizarre start to West Indies tour for SA Print E-mail
Category: Match Reports
Written by Luke Tagg   
Thursday, 20 May 2010 00:56
South Africa's tour of the West Indies got off to a mildly disturbing start last night in Antigua with one of the more peculiar games of Twenty20 I've ever witnessed.

From atrocious umpiring to unusually tatty Proteas kit, the day started out bizarre and got steadily more comical as the hot, windy afternoon wore on. South Africa won it in the end by 13 runs but were about as convincing as a glass of crocodile tears.

The pitch itself was another West Indies Surprise and contributed greatly to the strange and unusual cricket on display, with dangerous amounts of variable pace and bounce. Playing on the front foot was suicidal as nobody knew when an innocuous delivery would decide to spit like a baccy-chewin' redneck.

The fun began on the third ball of the match, when Kemar Roach dug in a short one at Loots Bosman to test the bounce and discovered he was bowling a tennis ball, which duly sailed over the 'keeper's head for four byes. It was also a no-ball, which brought about a free hit.

The bad umpiring from Clyde Duncan (I counted five wrong decisions of his alone) began in the second over, when he turned down an lbw from Jerome Taylor to Graeme Smith, which Hawk-Eye showed was hitting middle stump, halfway up. It looked plumb, it was plumb.

Bosman decided he'd had about enough of this shit and nicked a legside wide at the start of Taylor's next over. Duncan signalled wide, not hearing nor seeing the massive nick, but Bosman gave himself out by walking - the first time I've ever seen a batsman legitimately overrule an umpire's decision.

That was just the appetizer. We're just getting to the good stuff.

Smith played as well as he could on a spiteful pitch that was nigh impossible to bat on, and put on 73 for the second wicket with Jacques Kallis. Then he got stumped by Andre Fletcher off the first ball Nikita Miller bowled... except he wasn't out.

Instead of waiting for the umpire to make a decision, which would have ruled in his favour as his foot was clearly still grounded, he took not just a page but an entire chapter out of the Good Book of Bosman and also walked.

Everyone screamed at him from the balcony to go back, Robin Jackman almost had a heart attack as Smith approached the event horizon boundary rope, but there was nothing he could do. He had to go. Apparently players can no longer ask the umpires to check suspect decisions.

Besides, nobody other than Smith himself had made any sort of decision. The Windies players appealed, but Smith didn't wait for a decision. He just left.

Aside from Kallis, nobody else could get the ball away at any stage and the Proteas ended up posting a reasonable 136/7. Smith said he thought 150 would have been a good score and reiterated that after the game.

Still - 137 was always going to be a difficult target to chase, particularly considering the two-paced, spiteful nature of the pitch.

Except... except... in the space of the 10-minute crossover between innings the pitch went from unplayable to batsman's paradise. I've never seen a pitch change its tune as fast as that one did, the little two-faced rat - by the time the Windies strode out it was beautiful for batting. Lovely, true bounce. Good pace.

The West Indies, however, couldn't take advantage of it. A combination of good bowling and shoddy batting meant it was never really a contest, despite Dale Steyn's best efforts to the contrary.

His figures read a respectable 0/23 in his 4 overs, but don't begin to tell the story of his fourth over, which was the 19th of the innings.

It was an 11-ball over featuring four wides, a wicket off a no-ball, a free hit, a run-out off a free hit which was also a wide, a second wide off a second free hit and a blatant, huge nick to the 'keeper that was given not out. Almost as blatant as AB de Villiers' red-faced smirk of disbelief. I smell a citing...

It was the over that just kept giving. Forget it being a comedy routine - it was a full-blown cabaret. Dancing girls and free tequila. Tassles on unrestrained boobies.

Throughout it all the wind was blowing at near gale force, which exposed the cheap kit the Proteas were wearing by ripping the numbers and names off their backs - literally. You'd expect the shirts would have the numbers sewn in or printed - not a chance. These were stuck on with Bostick and no match for the fury of an Antiguan howler.

Yet another thing I'd never seen before today - a cheap, shoddy cricket kit. CSA should be ashamed of themselves - and apparently are, according to a Tweet posted by them shortly after the game:

"CSA are addressing the issue of the quality of th Proteas kit. We have noted your feedback & apologize to all our fans."

Geez, man. Sort it out, okes. Very unprofessional and highly embarrassing.

As if all that wasn't enough, Ryan McLaren of all people became only the fourth bowler in T20I history to take five wickets, which also included the first stumping of his career.

AB de Villiers - in his first game as 'keeper after the coup that removed Mark Boucher - got four dismissals and should have had five, were it not for the missed nick in Steyn's last over. He was brilliant behind the stumps. No other word for it: brilliant.

What the game lacked in quality cricket it more than made up in entertainment value, but clearly both sides are still way behind the eight-ball. The Windies have the bigger problems, but South Africa can ill-afford to be papering over the cracks.

The biggest positive for me (aside from AB's keeping) was the intent shown by the batsmen. They didn't middle a single ball until the sixth over, but never once went into their shells, despite the ball zipping and zinging all over the place.

They stayed attacking but weren't stupid about it, which is a good sign. It was impossible for anyone to express themselves fluently, but I don't care who you are - nobody could have leathered that ball in the first six overs.

They did the next best thing - attacked when they could and got as many runs as possible.

I'll take the win, but I still have Questions. The selection of Alviro Petersen, for example, makes no sense. If they wanted to open with him, fine - but bringing him in at 7, after Johan Botha? What's that about? What's his role? A specialist No. 7?

The decision to open the bowling with Roelof van der Merwe was also strange, given the antics of the pitch. He also got to bowl with the wind, whereas Steyn had to bowl his first over against it. It's like it was pre-planned, come hell or high water, rather than a reaction to the situation.

Overall it was a good effort on a strange day. Assessment of where we are will be easier after Game 2, tonight.

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